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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25772704">lay with me where your secrets lie</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7punk/pseuds/n7punk'>n7punk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Hiding Medical Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:42:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25772704</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7punk/pseuds/n7punk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She-ra fights for the rebellion for three years and they never notice. Catra calls Adora out on her first morning in Bright Moon.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>437</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lay with me where your secrets lie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is less of it's own fic and more of an angst concept but it is a <i>good</i> angst concept so I thought I would share.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is the first day they have woken up together, and it feels soft and content. The morning light is pouring into Adora’s room as she digs around in her wardrobe, back politely turned as Catra slips out of her bed to dress herself. Catra’s clothes from the night before are abandoned on the floor, only a few feet from the bed. She shimmies out of her borrowed sleep shorts, lip curling a bit as she pulls the bodysuit on again – it is not exactly filthy, but it is not nearly as pleasant as the soft, airy feeling of Adora’s silk clothes, loose on her shoulders.</p><p>She turns back to face Adora again in enough time to be greeted by her muscled back disappearing beneath her compression top as she slowly pulls it on. For a moment, Catra lets her worries melt away and just appreciates <em>watching</em> the one thing she never thought she would have as Adora puts up her ponytail.</p><p>Adora turns around and catches her looking. Catra feels her face flush, but she does not look away. With all the false bravado she does not feel, she stalks up to Adora with a smirk. “Hey, Adora,” she purrs, wrapping her arms around Adora’s shoulders and tugging. Adora’s smile breaks into a full grin before she gives in to the pull, leaning down to meet Catra’s kiss. Catra hums against her lips, wrapping her arms around her waist to pull their bodies flush together. To her surprise, Adora stumbles at the slight imbalance, having to catch herself on Catra’s shoulders. Against her mouth, Adora’s breathing turns ragged for a second, and that is what really concerns her enough to pull away.</p><p>She freezes when she sees the look in Adora’s eyes. She looks a little hazy, confused by Catra pulling away, but there is also the unmistakable look of a Horde recruit biting back pain contained there.</p><p>“Adora, what’s wrong?” Catra questions.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Catra has no right to be angry.</p><p>She is angry.</p><p>It takes too long of a debate before she gets Adora to agree to take it easy. Catra insists on slipping her arm around her waist as they walk, Adora’s arm thrown over her shoulder in case she needs support.</p><p>“Catra, it really isn’t that bad-“ Adora tries. She cuts off at the glare Catra fixes her with.</p><p>Okay, she is seething. She is mad at herself, at Adora, and at every member of the rebellion for <em>never noticing, how can you not-</em></p><p>She cuts off her inner tirade with a hiss. She feels Adora looking down at her with those eyes filled with shining worry that she should not be directing at Catra of all people, not right now.</p><p>Adora leads them to the dining hall. When they reach it, they find it surprisingly full for how late they slept in. About a dozen or so people Catra does not recognize – who could very well be members of the rebellion she has never faced, or just castle staff who have already made it back to the abandoned palace – accompany all the princesses, plus Sea Hawk, King Micah, and the Castaspella woman around the dining table. The dining table is set in a rather haphazard way, gleaming silverwear that is no doubt usually impeccably set out scattered around a table with no cloth, and a litany of dishes, mostly empty, littered about. When they enter the room, several people look up and wave. Catra, one arm around Adora and the other firmly gripping the hand thrown over her shoulder, does not wave back. Adora tries to, with her free hand. Catra hears her release a near-silent hiss of pain as she does so. She shoots her a glare that causes Adora to at least look a bit ashamed, lowering her hand to her side.</p><p>“Where do you sit?” Catra asks Adora as they approach. Adora gestures to an empty chair beside Glimmer. Catra guides Adora to the chair, releasing her slowly and watching her with narrowed eyes as she sits. Adora offers her a sheepish smile as she sits.</p><p>The others have noticed something is wrong. She can feel eyes on them. She takes a deep breath, dragging a nearby empty chair closer until it is arm-to-arm with Adora’s chair. She sits, careful not to disturb Adora, and then turns to fix her with a pointed look.</p><p>When they walked in there had been peaceful chatter floating about the room. Now, it dies away as everyone slowly keys into the silent battle taking place near the head of the table. Catra narrows her eyes at Adora while Adora slumps a little further in her chair. She fidgets with her hands, then winces. Catra’s tail flicks across her hands and Adora sighs in defeat.</p><p>“Okay, Catra wanted me to tell you guys something,” is how Adora chooses to start. Catra rolls her eyes.</p><p>“It is important for her journey if Catra is the one to say it, then,” Perfuma cuts in, her voice kind despite how badly Catra wants her to shut her mouth at this exact moment.</p><p>“Adora has been lying to you guys,” Catra rebukes, crossing her arms and slinking back in her chair. She is rewarded by several people looking stunned and Adora hanging her head, just a little. <em>Good</em>.</p><p>“It isn’t lying, it’s-“</p><p>“Lying, no matter the reason,” Catra cuts in, again. Adora glares at her – she glares back. She <em>knows</em> she is being a hypocrite, but she also can hardly stand the fact that Adora has done this for <em>three years</em>.</p><p>“Adora, what is going on?” Bow cuts in, voice gentle concern. Catra actually sends him a relieved smile. Someone on <em>her</em> side for once. Even if they don’t know what her side is, yet.</p><p>Adora throws her hands up in the air, stares at the ceiling for a long moment, and then finally admits the words she sobbed to Catra in her bedroom.</p><p>“She-ra hurts. Happy?” she asks, turning to look at Catra. Catra feels stricken, pulling back from where she had been leaning into Adora’s space.</p><p>“No, I just- The people who care about you need to know if you’re hurting, Adora,” Catra tells her, softly, words meant only for her and not the other twenty people staring at them and listening.</p><p>There is a long beat of silence around them. Adora’s gaze softens. She turns her head down to stare are her lap, fidgeting with her hands a bit before she finally sighs and looks up. Catra watches the wince on Adora’s face when she meets the concerned gazes of her friends.</p><p>“When I get injured as She-ra, it heals. It is <em>fine</em>. It just- keeps hurting for awhile after I transform back. It is nothing I can’t handle – it does not need a medic or anything like that. But after all the hits I took yesterday, and taking the brunt of the Heart – I’m just sore today. I’m <em>fine</em>,” Adora assures them.</p><p>“You said it felt like your cheek was still sliced open,” Catra counters. Adora glares are her again as Bow covers his mouth with a gasp.</p><p>“Catra-“ Adora starts, leaning in, voice quiet but <em>frustrated</em>. Catra reaches under the table to take her hand and Adora stops herself. She searches Catra’s expression and must see something there – Catra does not know what, because she is doing her damn hardest to keep her expression neutral despite the anger and fear running through her body. Whatever she sees, Adora slumps back against her chair, giving up the fight.</p><p>“Adora, has this always been true? Even before you broke the sword?” Glimmer asks. The queen looks hurt as she stares over at her friend. Adora closes her eyes, leaning her head against the back of her chair. She is the image of defeat, body slumped, throat exposed, senses cut off. It makes Catra’s fur bristle, makes her glance around the room as if a threat will appear to take advantage of this moment. She knows why Adora kept this secret – she carries the same fear in her pounding chest – but she is more afraid of losing her again.</p><p>“Yes,” Adora admits, not opening her eyes. She does not want to see the reaction from the table. The conversation between her and Catra had been hard enough as Catra realized every wound, every scratch she laid on She-ra had still been carried by Adora, even if no one saw it. “The pain lingers. Usually for a day or two. It is not that bad, usually. If it was, I would not have been able to hide it this long, but-“ she opens her eyes, turning to look at Catra, eyes soft with a fondness that makes her breath catch. Adora shrugs, “Catra knows me.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It takes a near-barrage of admonishments from the rebellion members gathered, but Adora agrees to take things easy for a few days. To stay as Adora, in the castle. Glimmer throws Adora onto the post-war reconstruction committee despite her specialty being <em>hitting things</em> and <em>planning how to hit things</em> just to give her a distraction. Catra follows Adora everywhere, making sure she does not strain herself. Catra turns out to be far more useful to the committee than Adora, finding the work not dissimilar to what she did as Hordak’s Second, and far more pleasant when she does it from Adora’s lap.</p><p>On the third day, Adora tries to go for a walk by herself while Glimmer and Catra sort through some final decisions from the day's work. Catra spends ten minutes making her promise to take things easy before she decides Adora will never convince her and just sends Melog along with her as an active enforcer.</p><p>When she settles back down beside Glimmer, she finds the queen watching her.</p><p>Catra sighs, handing her a scroll. “Don’t you dare say anything. Adora and I have always looked out for each other,” Catra tells her, ears flat to her head. She <em>knows</em> Glimmer was going to make a comment about her going soft, or being worried over Adora, or something else equally embarrassing.</p><p>Glimmer just shakes her head, her eyes shining. “Thank you,” she says. Catra flicks an ear in her direction and returns to her pile of work.</p><p>“You can thank me once we finish rebuilding the roads I destroyed,” she mutters, voice tinged with bitterness. She hopes, distantly, that Glimmer realizes the bitterness is directed inward and not aimed at her.</p><p>“Not that,” Glimmer tells her, reaching a hand out to place it on Catra’s arm. Catra feels herself stiffen at the touch. Luckily, Glimmer does not seem to notice. “We- I’m so <em>ashamed</em> we never noticed. If you hadn’t come back – we still wouldn’t know. I am sure Adora would be running around as She-ra right now, trying to put the world back together,” Glimmer says.</p><p>Catra shakes, just a little, beneath Glimmer’s touch, but the quakes are coming from her words. She should bite her tongue and accept the thank you, but-</p><p>“<em>How</em>. How did you never notice? I saw it as soon as I looked into her eyes that morning,” Catra asks, hates how wrecked her voice sounds.</p><p>She is mad at Glimmer and the rest of the rebellion for never noticing – she is <em>furious</em> with herself for being the cause of so much pain, so <em>happily</em>, for so many years.</p><p>Glimmer flinches back. A month ago, Catra would have thought <em>good</em>. Instead, she flinches in response. She quickly turns away to try to hide it but – that says all it needs to on its own.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Glimmer says, her voice quiet. Ashamed. “There- there was so much going on. I can’t remember a time, even looking back on it, where I ever could have suspected but – I think it was so much easier to just <em>believe</em>. To believe Adora, to believe She-ra was invincible, to believe we had one good thing on our side.” The explanation is rambling, and naïve, but – Catra gets it. She knows a thing or two about fooling the hell out of herself.</p><p>She still cannot quite find it in herself to apologize. Instead, she turns to survey Glimmer – looking near to the verge of tears – and cautiously reaches out a hand to her.</p><p>“We’ll take care of her now. Together,” she pledges. Glimmer startles at her statement, the gathered tears falling from her lashes as she blinks at her in surprise. Then a smile breaks across her face.</p><p>“Together. Because she sure as hell is not going to do it herself,” Glimmer agrees, taking her hand.</p><p>Catra laughs, and feels the coil of worry within her chest loosen slightly.</p><p>When Adora returns from her walk twenty minutes later, Melog reports having to remind her to hold back three different times, but never having to <em>physically</em> hold her back. It is progress, however small. They will get there one day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I found this in my unfinished folder with just the first two scenes written, but I liked the concept for angst (despite having a longer, angstier fic with a similar premise outlined already oops) so I thought I would finish this off and share it.<br/>Technically compliant to canon, especially the canon established in Noelle's fic, but this is not the interpretation I use in my canon ficverse so I have left it out.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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